Happy Returns to the Ruler

Yesterday marked Slick Rick's 49th Birthday. In celebration we thought we'd share one of our favorite collabo's from Wimbledon's finest. Love to Brother Jackson for spotting this rather swag imagery.

Only Lemon Curd can save Lebanon

Whoever tries to tell you that people in Lebanon like peanut-butter jelly sandwiches is so wrong they are not merely misinformed but possibly evil. I mean I like peanut-butter sandwiches, jelly sandwiches, and peanut-butter jelly sandwiches but I am exceptional – this is no brag, you can check my Quiz Up stats.

The majority of Lebanese like peanut-butter or jelly in their sandwiches. Few fathom that the combination of the two could be anything other than culinary sacrilege. This is simply the truth; check the latest stats from the Ministry of Arachibutyrophobia.

Most within each camp fantasize of smearing a small portion of their favoured condiment in their enemy’s sandwiches and laughing mercilessly at the discomfort it causes. It has got to a stage where the majority of Lebanese believe that they cannot go to the same restaurant, despite the fact that sandwiches containing peanutbutter and/or jelly rarely make the menu. In other words the problem has become paradigmatic within Lebanese politics and society at large, transcending the particularities that brought it about. Ironically, it is an oft overlooked fact that such condimental preferences have been nurtured by foreign food companies with their own dichotomous interests.

Now, in an ideal world we could learn to embrace each other’s differences and preferences. But we have gone too far. Our partisanship is transferred from one generation to the next almost from birth. Creating a society where one can happily sit on a park bench with a peanutbutter sandwich next to someone with a jelly sandwich, realize our common aspirations for a greater Lebanon, and exchange one slice for its antithesis are beyond us. This is not Hollywood. It is a sad reality but the only path to a solution is to ban these condiments and reign in the attempted monopolization of our country by their foreign manufactures and embrace an indigenous condiment.

The solution dear people is Lemon curd.

Disclaimer:

I am glad that this post has received so much attention but I would like to draw attention to the fact that this is not an article but a blog post and therefore I am reneging much of my responsibility as a journalist operating in a public forum.

Additionally Lemon curd is in fact mainly manufactured by foreign food companies.

There are also very few parks in Beirut where people are able to recline and exchange sandwiches.

Inspired by: https://now.mImedia.me/lb/en/lebanon/530076-only-christians-can-save-lebanon